I’m not a fan of pranks. I’ve only ever participated in two “proper” pranks in my whole life and to be fair, I am pretty old by now.  One was to order a shit load of catalogues for crap like catalogues and Stannah stair lifts brochures to a mildly annoying girl when I was a teenager.  The other was to help distract my boss while my friend and colleague rigged up a tape loop of Crazeee Horses WAHHHHHH in the ceiling above his desk in his office.  Too quiet to be wholly apparent but loud enough that when the PC fan shut up for a second it drove him nuts….that was quite funny actually, but yeah not a fan of pranks.

Someone tried to prank me today.  It made me mad.  Perhaps I am humourless.

Ingredients

For the stock

• Chicken carcass + legs and wings
• Leek
• Celery
• Onion
• Carrots
• Garlic
• Pepper
• Water

For the soup

• 2 chicken stock cubes
• Onion
• Carrots
• Celery
• Leek
• Celeriac
• Garlic
• Tinned tomatoes
• Tin of Cannellini Beans (drained)
• Broken up angel hair spaghetti
• Oregano/Rosemary/Sage/Parsley
• Salt and Pepper

Method

1. Make the stock by boiling (or pressure cooking) the chicken carcass, legs and wings with the stock ingredients until the chicken is falling off the bone.
2. Remove the chicken carcass/legs and wings.
3. Strain the liquid into a large pan and squish the vegetables and garlic through a sieve till all the liquid is through and then discard the veg.
4. Take all the chicken off the bone and put back into the liquid with 2 stock cubes.
5. Add the chopped veg and boil for 10 more mins.
6. Add the tomatoes and cook down, seasoning to taste.
7. Add the canellini beans and the spaghetti and cook for another 5 mins till spaghetti is all cooked.
8. Add the chopped fresh herbs and finish off with a sprinkling of fresh parmesan and a dollop of creme fraiche if you like.

Ingredients

• 1 onion finely chopped
• 2 cloves garlic finely chopped
• 75g  sundried tomatoes
• 1 tin chopped plum tomatoes
• peel of one orange grated
• pepper
• Pasta
• meduim sized piece of cod portioned per person

Soak the sundried tomatoes in boiling water for 30 mins

Marinade the cod in the juice of half an orange, a twist of ground pepper and a tablespoon of olive oil for at least 30mins

Meanwhile gently fry off the onions and garlic in a little olive oil, add the grated orange peel and fry for 2 mins.

Add the tin of tomatoes amd stir, leave to simmer fgor 5 mins.

Add the sundried tomatoes and the liquor that the sundried tomatoes have been steeped in.  Reduce by about a quarter.

Grill the cod for about 4mins per side, put pasta on to boil for about 4 mins…

When it all comes together serve and eat!

Ingredients:

For the marinade

• Rump steak thinly sliced
• 3 cloves garlic crushed
• Thumb sized piece of ginger  chopped to a paste
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1 tablespoon sweet chilli sauce
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 1 tablespoon dark soy sauce
• 1 teaspoon fivespice

For the stir fry

• 1 clove garlic sliced
• half a chilli sliced
• small piece of ginger sliced
• 2 spring onions sliced
• mixed stir fry vegetables such as  peppers, sugar snaps, leeks etc
• splash of nam pla (fish sauce)
• large splash of dark soy sauce
• dash of sweet chilli sauce
• Sesame oil

To serve

• noodles
• sesame seeds

Method:

1. Marinate the meat in a large shallow bowl with all the marinade ingredients for at least 20 mins.
2. Heat a large wok and add some sesame oil.
3. Add the ginger, garlic, spring onion and chilli to the wok.
4. Then add the beef over a really high heat and stir fry till lightly browned.
5. Add the vegetables and stir fry for a couple of minutes.
6. Add the soy sauce, nam pla, sweet chilli sauce and stir fry for a minute or two longer.
7. If the sauce is too dry add a dash more soy sauce, it it is too wet you can thicken it with a teaspoon of cornflour mixed with a little bit of water.
8. Serve with noodles stir fried in sesame oil and sesame seeds.

This isn’t my idea.  I didn’t make it.  Anderoo did. And it is good!

Ingredients:

• half a lemon
• a thumb sized piece of ginger roughly sliced
• a good spoonful of honey
• a pint of boiling water
• a rather large splash of vodka (optional, could also use rum or brandy – also optional!)

How to:

Put all the ingredients except the alcohol  into a jug, pour over boiling water. Allow to steep for about 10 mins, and if you want add the vodka. Strain and drink either hot ot cold.

Ingredients

1. 100g peeled, cooked prawns
2. 1/4 tsp turmeric
3. 1/2 tsp ground coriander
4. 1/4 tsp ground cardomom
5. 1 tbsp groundnut oil
6. season with smoked sea salt
7. 1/2 a lemon juice
8. 1oz butter

Method

1. Heat the butter in a small frying pan
2. Add the prawns till warmed through

Serve with Indian vegetable curry and rice

I found a recipe that sounded good for an indian vege stir fry, firstly I didn;t have all the veg ingredients so made do with what I did have , and secondly, mid cooking I decided that it needed something else.  That something was yoghurt. The result was pretty damn fine. I had it with the Indian Prawns and the Machchi Methi and boiled rice.

Ingredients

1. 1 tbsp groundnut oil
2. cauliflower broken into small florets
3. green beans
4. red pepper chopped
5. 1 chilli sliced into rings
6. 1 onion chopped
7. 3 cloves garlic chopped
8. 1/2 tsp coriander seeds
9. 1/4 tsp turmeric
10. 1/2 tsp ground coriander
11. 1/2 tsp garam masala
12. juice of 1/2 a lemon

Method

1. In a saucepan bring water to the boil and cook the cauli for 5 mins, drain and rinse with cold water to retain some crispness.
2. Heat the oil in a wok and add the onions.  Cook till lightly brown.
3. Add the spice and the garlic and chilli and fry for 3 mins.
4. Add the lemon juice.
5. Add the rest of the vegetables and stir fry for 3 – 4 mins.
6. Pour in 300ml of plain yoghurt and keep on a low heat till all the spices are mixed well and cooked to the desired consistency.

I went to Mayur restaurant in Liverpool recently and had this dish (in name) as a starter.  I’ve not found anything that comes really close to the dish I ate but this is the best substitute that I found and bastardised to make it closer to what I wanted. This will do 2 people as a starter.

Ingredients

1. 2 pieces of skinless salmon fillet cut into chunks
2. 1/ tbsp groundnut oil
3. 1 tbsp fenugreek seeds
4. 2 tsp ground coriander
5. 1 tsp cumin seeds
6. 1/2 tsp turmeric
7. 1 tsp chilli powder
8. 150ml plain yoghurt
9. 1/2 onion minced
10. thumb sized pice of ginger minced

Method

1. Mix together the spices (apart from the fenugreek seeds) with the yoghurt, the onion and ginger and 1 tsp groundnut oil and marinate the salmon in the mixture for at least 20 mins.
2. Heat the remaining  groundnut oil in  a non stick frying pan, when hot add the fenugreek seeds.
3. Reduce the heat and let let the fenugreek seeds get really dark brown quite slowly.
4. When the seeds are dark remove the seeds but retain the oil.
5. Pour the oil back in the frying pan and bring the heat up again.
6. Add the fish and the surplus mixture and cook gently for 15 mins, turning occasionally to avoid the fish sticking.
7. Serve with rice and chopped fresh coriander.

Ingredients

• Butter for greasing the ramekins
• 2oz Smoked salmon
• 1/2 a small tub of double cream
• chopped chives
• parmesan cheese
• eggs
• pepper

Directions

1. Grease the ramekins with the butter and line with some chives, then put the salmon in the bottom.
2. Add the half the double cream to cover the salmon in each ramekin and a little bit of ground black pepper.

Now here’s the choice part…
I make a little bit of scrambled egg still a bit runny and then put that on top of the salmon, my boyfriend prefers the whole egg on top of the salmon……

1. Then divide the rest of the cream between the ramekins and sprinkle with some more chives and the parmesan.
2. Bake in a bain marie (place the ramekins in a large dish with hot water half way up the side of the ramekins) for about 15mins @ 180 deg C.  Serve with hot buttery toast.

Very decadent.

I’ve tried and tried to recreate a less salty version of La Tasca’s Polla al Aijillo many times but this recipe is the closest that I have come. The original recipe was posted by canarygirl on Recipezaar but I have adapted it to my own tastes and to make it more like the La Tasca version so, credit for the basis of the recipe must go to whoever canarygirl is.

Ingredients

• 4 free range organic chicken breasts sliced about half a cm thick
• 4 cloves of garlic crushed
• teaspoon of fresh oregano (but dried will do if you can’t get fresh)
• teaspoon of fresh lemon thyme (ordinary thyme will do)
• sea salt flakes
• olive oil
• large glass of white wine
• 1 lemon

Directions

1. In a grinder or mortar and pestle grind together the garlic, the sea salt, and the herbs and the olive oil, leave for a few hours.
2. Heat a little more olive oil in a frying pan, fry the chicken pieces gently for about 8 mins, add the wine and cook down till the wine is reduced by half then add about half a pint of water and cook slowly till the water has also reduced by about half. You can always add more water and cook for longer to make the chicken super tender.
3. Squeeze the juice of the lemon over it just before serving TO TASTE!!!

Ingredients

• 1 goat shoulder (lamb would do but goat is nicer)
• 4 cloves garlic whole still in skin
• 1 onion roughly chopped
• 1 courgette roughly chopped
• 1 stick of celery chopped finely
• 1 carrot finely chopped
• 4 tomatoes chopped
• olive oil
• small potatoes
• 2 carrots
• large glass of white wine
• 1 pint lamb or chicken stock
• 2 tbsp tomato puree
• fresh thyme
• black pepper

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 190 deg C
2. Throw the goat, garlic, olive oil, onion, small diced carrot, celery, thyme, pepper and tomatoes into a roasting tin and cook for 40 mins.
3. Add the white wine and cook for another 40 mins at 170 deg C
4. Take the goat out and put on a baking tray and put back in the oven, covered in foil, on a low heat for about 2 hours
5. On the hob heat the veg mix and reduce the wine, add the tomato puree, the potatoes and the carrots and the stock and cook until the potatoes are soft. You can add more stock if needed.
6. Spoon the sauce over the goat and serve with loads of fresh green veg and a massive salad and bread to mop it all up.

Ingredients

• 1 piece of pork tenderloin weighing about 400g
• 2 tbsp hot smoked paprika
• 1 and half tsp ground cumin
• juice of 1 lemon
• 1 tsp oregano
• salt and pepper
• olive oil

Directions

1. Cut the tenderloin into small cubes and marinate in paprika, lemon juice, ground cumin, cayenne, and olive oil for at least 6 hours.
2. Preheat a baking tray in the oven to 180 deg C.
3. Spread the cubes on the tray evenly and cook for about 13 mins in the oven.

You can stick them on a skewer and grill or bbq these if you like but leaving them in marinade makes them lovely and tender whichever way you cook them.

This is my leftover chicken dish. My 11yr old is not too fond of curries but will eat this one with gusto.

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp groundnut oil
• leftover cooked chicken shredded
• 1/2 an onion minced
• 1/2 an onion diced
• 3 garlic cloves
• 1 tbsp coriander seeds
• 1 tbsp cumin seeds
• 2 tbsp curry powder (I like this one)
• 1 tsp red chilli
• 1/2 pint chicken stock
• handful of sultanas

Directions

1. Grind up the spices in a blender or mortar and pestle.
2. Heat the oil in a frying pan and add the spices, garlic, chilli and minced onion and fry for about 3 mins.
3. Add the cooked chicken and stir fry for a minute or two till coated with the spice mixture.
4. Add the chicken stock and cook till sauce is starting to thicken.
5. Add the sultanas and heat through till they are plump.

Serve with rice.

I tend to throw in some left over veggies too, like courgette, peppers etc. Oh and an apple thrown in, cut into chunks is nice too.

• Pork Ribs (2 sheets is enough for 4 as a starter or accompaniment)
• 3 tbsps good sea salt, like Maldon or Cerebas
• 2 heaped tsp szechuan peppercorns
• 1 large onion roughly chopped
• 1 red pepper chopped to about 1.5cm x 2 cm
• 1 green pepper chopped as above
• 2 or 3 cloves of garlic sliced thinly
• 1 chilli (optional)
• 3 tbsp sesame oil
• ground nut oil for frying the ribs

Directions

1. Cut the sheets of ribs into individual ribs and deep fry until cooked in the groundnut oil. It’s best to do them in batches and keep the cooked ones warm until they’re all done.
2. Put the salt and peppercorns in a dry non-stick pan and gently heat through. Then grind them roughly in a mortar and pestle. You won’t need all this mixture for this recipe but if you store it in a jar in a cool dry place you will have plenty for next time.
3. In a large wok heat the sesame oil and add the onions and peppers and fry for a couple of minutes, add the ribs (again do this in batches if they won’t all fit into the wok), and two table spoons of the salt mixture, keep tossing them so they don;t stick and then add the garlic. Adding the garlic last means that it doesn’t catch and burn and keeps the flavour better. If you like it more salty then add more of the salt/pepper mixture.

Ingredients

• Haddock skinned,
• thinly sliced pancetta chopped,
• garlic crushed,
• creme fraiche,
• butter.

Directions

1. Little butter, fry off pancetta and take out the pan and reserve for later. Put in the haddock on a low heat for about 5 mins, add garlic and add pancetta and creme fraiche cook till all heated through and add some chopped chives.
2. Serve with cheesy mash (Spuds cooked in half water, half milk,drain then put a quarter of the cooking liquid back into the pan, mash with a potato ricer, add a mound of Red Leicester, chives and some mushed up garlic. Few green veg to finish it all off.

I love pressure cookers. Aside from the scary noise, which one does get used to. Kinda.

This is a pressure cooker recipe.

bacon ribs cut into individual ribs
1 onion very roughly chopped
3 carrots sliced thickly
ground black pepper
yellow split peas

Boil the ribs in the pressure cook with the lid off for ten mins and remove any scum off the top of the water, then pour out about half of the water.
Put the other ingredients in the pan put in enough water to cover the ribs and veg and put lid on. Bring to the boil and when the pressure cooker start hissing quite loudly turn it down to a gentle hiss and time for 15 mins.

You should only use a third full of the cooker of the split peas, or any legumes, and there is also a certain amount of stock/water one should use too. Be careful. Too many carrots makes it too sweet.  Not removing enough of the cooking liquid after the first cooking of the ribs can make it too salty.  Reserve some of the “salty” liquid in case it’s not salty enough….no point adding extra new salt if you already have some in the waste liquid now…..

Ta to my Dad for this.  I had to write it down else I was in danger of ringing him up each time I wanted to cook bacon ribs.

This I cannot claim to be my own made up recipe.  It’s a Rick Stein one, it’s on the BBC website for anyone wanting to check. It’s STUNNING…it’s a must try recipe.  I was supposed to be cooking this for dinner tonight but ate a sandwich around 6pm and couldn’t be arsed to make it.  Tomorrow….well, today really.  It IS after midnight after all.

I did make some small changes…..

Ingredients

2 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for brushing
2 celery sticks, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
¼ preserved lemon, finely chopped  (I used a jar of preserved lemons, the type that you might use in a cocktail)                    4 plum tomatoes, sliced
600ml/1 pint fish stock
8 small new potatoes, cut lengthways into quarters
2 red mullet, ocean perch or grey mullet, weighing about 450g/1lb each, filleted (I used Mahi Mahi)
8 black olives, halved
1 tsp chopped fresh coriander
1 tsp chopped fresh mint
salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the charmoula:
2 tbsp roughly chopped fresh coriander
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1½ tsp ground cumin
½ red finger chilli, seeded and chopped roughly
½ tsp saffron strands
4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 lemon, juice only
1½ tsp paprika
1 tsp salt

Method

1. For the charmoula, put all the ingredients into a food processor and blend until smooth.
2. Heat the oil in a large pan, add the celery, carrot and onion and fry gently for 5 minutes, until softened but not browned.
3. Add half the chopped preserved lemon, 2 tbsp of the charmoula, the tomatoes and the stock.
4. Bring to the boil and simmer for 30 minutes, then add the potatoes. Simmer for 6-8 minutes until tender.
5. Preheat the grill to high. Brush the fillets of fish with olive oil, season with salt and pepper and then cut each diagonally in half.
6. Grill, skin-side up, for about 6 minutes.
7. Stir the olives, the rest of the charmoula and the remaining preserved lemon into the sauce and check the seasoning.
8. Put the fish in four warmed soup bowls, spoon over the sauce and sprinkle with the chopped coriander and mint.

Changes to original recipe:

My alterations were in the pan with the celery et al I put a cinnamon stick and i put the potatoes in at the start too. I used a fish called Mahi Mahi (from Sainsbury’s, never seen it anywhere else) instead of the suggested, and as it holds it’s shape well I put it in with the olives and left it for a few minutes longer to cook right through sooner than grill it. I wanted the flavours to get right into the fish. I also chucked in 3 handfuls of couscous at that time to thicken it up a bit.

I reckon monkfish would be good in it too.
It was really really good.

Ingredients
some king prawns
7oz new potatoes, par-boiled
4oz sugar snap peas, blanched
2 red peppers, blanched
1 red onion
1 can coconut milk
2 limes, juice and zest

For the curry paste
bunch of coriander
1 red and 1 green chilli
2 cloves garlic
1 stalk lemongrass
1 thumb size piece of ginger

Method
1. To make the Thai curry paste – put the garlic, ginger, coriander stalks, chopped lemongrass, and chopped ginger with a drop of oil, to the food processor and whizz.
2. Add paste to a hot pan with a drop more oil and cook for a minute.
3. In the same processor add the coconut milk, lime juice and zest and coriander and blitz, don’t waste any of the curry paste mixture!.
4. Stir the vegetables and prawns into the paste and pour over the coconut milk.
5. Season and cook till prawns are cooked.

This is an “off the cuff” comfort food recipe.

Ingredients

tbsp olive oil
3 chorizo sausages (not the proper chorizo, but chorizo flavoured sausages, I buy them from the local farmers market – they are not as er…hard as traditonal chorizo, but have a typical sausage texture with all the flavour)
2 black banger sausages (pork and black pudding)
half an onion finely chopped
2 cloves smoked garlic
tbsp hot smoked paprika
3 large sprigs thyme
1 courgette chopped
1 stick celery finely chopped
half a butternut squash in small dice
button mushrooms
tablespoon of “chair de tomate” from sainsburys (or chopped fresh toms or a couple of plum tomatoes and a bit of tom puree)
green beans
fresh peas
1 pint chicken stock
1 tin cannellini beans
loads of fresh parsley

Fry off the sausages in olive oil, then slice up and fry off again, add garlic and onion and fry till soft.
Add smoked paprika and the tomato mix and fry for a minute or two to combine the flavours.
Add the butternut squash and mushrooms, and the stock. Cook for about ten mins then add the chicken stock and the rest of the vegetables.

When heated through add the canellini beans, heat them through add the parsley and eat!

I made it with some left over fresh egg pasta and some roasted veg.

Ingredients

1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon five-spice powder
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1lb pork tenderloin, trimmed and cut crosswise into (1/2-inch-thick) slices/chicken
2 tablespoons chopped spring onions
1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 cup shaoxing wine
1/4 cup chicken stock
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon  soy sauce
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon cornflour
1/4 cup chopped green onions

Directions

1. Combine first 3 ingredients, and rub evenly over pork/chicken.
2. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with oil. Add pork/chicken to pan, and cook 1 1/2 minutes on each side or until lightly browned. Remove meat from pan, and set aside.
3. Reduce heat to medium. Add 2 tablespoons onions, ginger, and garlic to pan; cook 2 minutes, stirring constantly.
4. Combine shaoxing and next 5 ingredients (through soy sauce) in a small bowl. Add shaoxing mixture to pan; bring to a boil, scraping pan to loosen browned bits. Add pork to pan; cook 3 minutes or until pork is done. Remove pork from pan using a slotted spoon, reserving liquid in pan.
5. Combine water and cornflour in a small bowl, stirring with a whisk. Add cornflour mixture to pan, and bring to a boil. Cook 30 seconds or until slightly thickened. Serve over pork/chicken. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup green onions

The recipe that I nicked this from used sherry and not Shaoxing wine, I had no sherry so used Shaozing  instead. Also added chilli and ginger and bastardised the method as I had loads of veg to stirfry along with the meat. Oh and I didn’t rub the pork with five spice either just stir fried it off with the meat.
It was tasty.

A friend of mine (Hello Debs!) “ Tripled the garlic and ginger, like Glen used Shaozin instead of sherry (as if I’d have sherry in the house) and used szechuan pepper – it was gorgeous. The smell of the pork cooking with the szechuan pepper and five spice made me drool…“

So yeah it’s not just me who likes this one.